2011, Part III.

A bunch of new quotes - we've been prolific! Also, a few that I rediscovered going through old emails.

****

“This is SPARTAAAA!” – Catherine

“… no it’s not, it’s Leyton.” – Margaret

“This is LEYTOOOOOOON!!!!!” – Catherine

“Seriously, though, sack the place. It would look exactly the same. I look at pictures of BAGHDAD, and I think, ‘hey, that looks like Leyton!’” – Margaret

“Hmm.” – Catherine

“Specifically, Baker’s Arms.” – Margaret

***

“I was anointing your feet like Mary Magdalene did to Jesus.” – Margaret

“No you fucking weren’t! You just spilled raita all over my feet! Mary Magdalene didn’t go, ‘Whoops! Oh crap! I just spilled shit all over your feet!’” – Malcolm

“We don’t know that. The Gospel record is incomplete.” – Margaret

“Oh, it’s just like the Last Supper. Maybe the whole thing was over a pizza.” – Malcolm

“So the whole thing was just a tragic misunderstanding over a takeaway. Jesus just didn’t like pizza crusts! He was passing them around – ‘hey, does anyone want my crusts?’” – Margaret

“ ‘REMEMBER! I don’t LIKE CRUSTS. Whenever you order pizza, REMEMBER ME. REMEMBER I DON’T LIKE CRUSTS.” – Malcolm

“Now if there had been a stuffed crust option available …” – Margaret

“Pizza Hut was tragically too late.” – Malcolm

“The WHOLE HISTORY of Western Civilisation would have been different if there had been STUFFED CRUST PIZZA at the Last Supper.” – Margaret

***

“Yeah, that spider [in Australia] was literally as big as my hand. So I screamed and somersaulted back into the house and everyone else came downstairs, and they were all either from England or Canada, so THEY screamed and ran away.” – Malcolm

“What did you do?” – Catherine

“We just closed the door and locked it.” – Malcolm

“I love that you LOCKED it.” – Catherine

***

“I TOLD you just to dispose of the body quietly, but noooooo, you HAD to take a trophy …” – Liz

***

“I pity the fool who don’t want my homemade fudge!!” – Catherine

***

“I’m going to be the whitest woman who ever had children with Mr. T.” – Catherine

***

“I was outside with the Year Ones looking for signs of spring, and a fucking fly flew into my mouth.”

“That is a sign of spring.”

“Yeah, I got the irony at the time, thank you.” - Margaret and Catherine

***

“Josh: "Money is good, Derryfield [school] is easy, and they have coffeemakers."
Grace: "Quote Board!"
Peter (age 3): "Qo' Boar'!"”

***

Damn straight. (pause) Or maybe I'm God. (pause) Does God make brownies? –Josh

***

Margaret: Seeeee the USA, in your Chevrolet, America wants you to -
Malcolm: Margaret, you cannot subject me to this any longer.
Margaret: Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you -
Malcolm: I have something to tell you. The wedding registry - I signed it with my right hand instead of my left. We're not really married -
Margaret: WHERE OH WHERE HAS MY LITTLE DOG GONE, OH WHERE OH WHERE CAN HE BE -
Malcolm: It was a forgery! A trick! I don't have to stay here!
Margaret: HEEEEEE'S HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE -
Malcolm: I'M LEAVING!
Margaret: WHERE THEY CHOP DOWN THE OLD OAK TREE!