I realise there were some repeats in the last update, but I'm not going to go back and fix it, so y'all can just deal. Also, there are some that got left out of the last update, so some of those are here, but predate the last post.
* * *
"I can't go to Kew Gardens on Thursday - I have ethics." - Liz Webster
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"You hurt his feelings, COMMA, and belittled them!!" - Moray
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"A three-year-old shouldn't make you doubt your own existence." - Liz Ellis
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"Speaking of crazy things that you could do to your kids that would kill them ..." - Liz Ellis
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"I didn't know what it was, but I knew it wasn't BLANCMANGE or MAGIC." - Catherine
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"And then to the casual observer, it LOOKED like I stole a cookie from a homeless person, but this was NOT true ..." - Margaret
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"Songs of Prey - a birdsong show for cats!" - Margaret
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"Malcolm's never going to watch the football with us again - it's all coups and Muppet sex!" - Margaret
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“I think you actually mentioned that it was a shame your shirt was ruined while it was still aflame.” – Catherine
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“So, the depressing Nazis can now be the problem of the poor.” – Catherine
“WE ARE THE POOR.” – Margaret
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“I just love the idea of using small, yet recalcitrant, animals as currency.” – Margaret
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“Facebook keeps giving me ads for lesbians and cooking.”
"Do you like lesbians? Do you like cooking? Why not cook some lesbians?” – Catherine and Margaret
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“NO! This twenty-first century is WRONG! You’ve got cats harvesting artichokes!” – Malcolm
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"Breasts and people falling down. That’s going to be my wedding album. Maybe I should have hired a professional.” – Margaret
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“Homer’s been misinterpreted for centuries. It’s all about cheesy fries.” – Catherine
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“I may or may not know the name of one person who may or may not have gotten fat. Or bald.” – Catherine
* * *
Peter: Daddy has big penis!
Josh: ...err, thank you, Peter.
Peter: Peter have little penis.
Josh: Heh. Yes, that's right. Just don't say that at school.
Peter: Mommy's penis big too!
Josh: Peter, there's a little flaw in your logic there...
* * *
Me: Oh, how lovely, to be stepping out on a Saturday afternoon with my beau.
Malcolm: Indeed. To enjoy a promenade on the ... on Leyton High Street. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask if I may call on you later?
Me: Well, I shall have to check with Mama. Has she met your people? Are they suitable?
Malcolm: Well, we are connected to the Suffolk Houstons.
Me: Indeed? The Suffolk Houstons? I do believe we met them at the Duchess of Bedfordshire's birthday party. (pause) They all got shitfaced and fell down onto the whist table.
* * *
Malcolm: "We had to go to the butcher, and the baker, and -"
Liz Ellis: "The candlestick-maker?"
Malcolm: "No ..."
Liz Ellis: "I was just saying what everyone else was thinking ..."
