Vintage quotes: Junior year at Trinity

(I'm sorry - this is the only photo I've uploaded of Junior year at Trinity. I may go back and add a different one if I scan some more in.)

"No, no, they're quiet, it's just - it's CONSTANT. They have sex ALL DAY."

- Jillian, referring to her teddy bears

* * *

“I am getting married to please ... let’s see ... my illegitimate children?” - Michele

* * *

“Great, my life couldn’t get any weirder. I have friends who have imaginary pit bulls, my teddy bears are having sex, my fish hates me, and my roommate is farting. Can I have a new life please??” - Jillian

* * *

“My brain is full, I need to be excused. And I also discovered today that I'm growing a second set of toenails.” - Margaret

* * *

“I like Skinner just because he puts cats in boxes.” - Michele

* * *

“Margaret, I think I have a ladybug in my eyelash.” - Jillian

“That would be ... bad.” - Margaret

* * *

“If any of the little so-and-so’s in the nursery give you any trouble, just smack them around a bit and they’ll shape up. Here at the Department of Children and Families, this is what we recommend to everyone.” - My dad, on his work telephone.

* * *

“Nothing says `home’ quite like a Death Chamber sign on your lighting fixture.” - Margaret

* * *

“I went on EBay to see if I can buy someone's soul. But all they have is soul music. I'm upset." - Margaret

* * *

“I don’t think you can meet someone and get married in three weeks. I mean, it takes about three weeks just to find the dress.” - Marion, at age ten.

* * *

“It wouldn’t be morning without good, old-fashioned sexual harassment.” - Michele

* * *

“Maybe I should start sleeping with him.”

“You could give him doggie treats.”

- Margaret and Lyah, working on the concept of Skinnerian reinforcement

* * *

“I am the ideal woman. Why am I not pregnant?” - Lyah

* * *

“I just had to sit through another [Prof.] Wiseman lecture on anorexia, so bring on the cookies.” - Michele

* * *

“I couldn’t handle it if I had five children. I’d eat three of them. I’d have them draw straws and be like, `I’m sorry, Billy, you’re gonna have to go. You’re being voted off the island. You are the weakest link - good-bye.’” - Michele

* * *

“Yes, we’re going to have an attack hamster. On a leash. That’s the best part.”

“You need hobbies.” - Margaret and Lyah

* * *

“So I felt like doing something mindless, so I printed out the final major league team statistics, which include the runs scored by and runs scored against, as well as won-lost records. And if you square the runs scored by and the runs scored against, the ratio should be the same as the won-lost record, and this enables you to see which teams over-performed and which under-performed. So I put this all into an Excel spreadsheet ... so okay, it’s not totally mindless.” - This is all you need to know about my dad.

* * *

“You cannot have democracy without free papaya-mango smoothies!” - Margaret

* * *

Michele: What’s on TV tonight?

Margaret: Well, `Off Centre’ is on.

Michele: What’s that?

Margaret: That show ... with those guys ...

Michele: Oh yeah! That one’s funny.

* * *

“I got Dan and Will into drag in twenty minutes. And Dan has stubble!” - Lyah

* * *

"Yeah, the bad idea fairy came to us one night, and said, `Hey, how about you major in Psychology?`"." - Michele

* * *

“Yay. Our major ties into our neuroses." - Michele

* * *

“We did have a theme wedding. The theme was 'Rabid Episcopalianism'." - Mommy (referring to Grace's wedding)

* * *

“[This sound effect] could be Hitler's troops or, like, a cheerleading squad." - Michele, during a Social Psych movie