2013, Part III.

A few of mine and one of Cat's that got left off the last update by accident:
 
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"That's it, I'm officially the fastest screw in the Hampstead Players." - Margaret


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"THERE WILL BE NO DONGING IN THE VESTRY." - Margaret


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"David, stop scaring the nice lady with your face." - Margaret

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"Liturgical whiplash: that disoriented feeling you get when you're simultaneously thinking about Ash Wednesday stuff, Easter stuff, and Baptism stuff." - Margaret
 
"Dunk the kid's head in ashes. Then perch a Peep on top of it.  Sorted." - Catherine

2013, Part II.

"So you got to go out with the girls last night while I stayed home and cleaned sweetcorn out of the bathtub." - Malcolm

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"This chair is dirty and I need to clean it." - Margaret

"It is dirty because of caticles.  Caticles in catacombs. Singing canticles." - Malcolm

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"Your subconscious is full of books and storms and churches and interior decorating and RAGE." - Catherine

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"Right. I'm going to have some celery.  With mayonnaise.  Because that's how fucking hard I am." - Malcolm

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 "I've juggled with empty wine bottles before.  They have a neck to get purchase on, so it's better than milk bottles, but still probably not a great idea.  But honestly, if you have three empty wine bottles, you're probably not making the best decisions anyway." - Malcolm

2013, Part I.

"Starting 2013 as I mean to go on: slightly drunk, talking about sheep skulls, in possession of ChapStick, and not wearing underwear." - Margaret

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"It was basically a weekend-long panic attack, interspersed with bouts of binge drinking.  It was BRILLIANT." - Margaret

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"EVERYBODY knows that a fruit bat in utero means you secretly hate your mother." - Liz

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"The feeling as he entered me was like ... a penguin. Diving into a ... sauna." - Malcolm writes his own version of "Fifty Shades of Grey"

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"A PINE MARTEN would have been a lot more decisive there." - Margaret

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"So we'll retrieve my knickers from the pub and then get some lunch." - Margaret

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"I'm going to Google Mr. Head." - Moray 

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"Rapey AND racist!" - Margaret
"Rapeyracist dot com!" - Catherine
"Know your market!" - Pam

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"Can I flip your goose?" - Malcolm
"Only if you buy it dinner first." - Catherine

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"You're a girl.  Do you wanna have fun?" - Malcolm
"Yes." - Margaret
"But do you JUST wanna have fun?" - Malcolm
"No." - Margaret
"Pop culture has LIED to me." - Malcolm